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Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: An Antidote

141 143 An Antidote A YOUNG Ostrich came to its Mother, groaning with pain and with its wings tightly crossed upon its stomach. "What have you been eating?" the Mother asked, with solicitude. "…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: A Talisman

144 146 A Talisman HAVING been summoned to serve as a juror, a Prominent Citizen sent a physician's certificate stating that he was afflicted with softening of the brain. "The gentleman is…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Massacre

147 149 The Massacre SOME Holy Missionaries in China having been deprived of life by the Bigoted Heathens, the Christian Press made a note of it, and was greatly pained to point out the contrast…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Critics

14 16 The Critics WHILE bathing, Antinous was seen by Minerva, who was so enamoured of his beauty that, all armed as she happened to be, she descended from Olympus to woo him; but, unluckily…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: An AErophobe

159 161 An AErophobe A CELEBRATED Divine having affirmed the fallibility of the Bible, was asked why, then, he preached the religion founded upon it. "If it is fallible," he replied, "there is…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Debaters

168 170 The Debaters A HURLED-BACK Allegation, which, after a brief rest, had again started forth upon its mission of mischief, met an Ink-stand in mid-air. "How did the Honourable Member whom…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: An Invitation

40 42 An Invitation A PIOUS Person who had overcharged his paunch with dead bird by way of attesting his gratitude for escaping the many calamities which Heaven had sent upon others, fell asleep…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Pavior

45 47 The Pavior AN Author saw a Labourer hammering stones into the pavement of a street, and approaching him said: "My friend, you seem weary. Ambition is a hard taskmaster." "I'm working for…

Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: A Causeway

53 55 A Causeway A RICH Woman having returned from abroad disembarked at the foot of Knee-deep Street, and was about to walk to her hotel through the mud. "Madam," said a Policeman, "I cannot…

Fantastic Fables by Ambrose Bierce: Revenge

A Forfeited Right An Optimist Revenge AN Insurance Agent was trying to induce a Hard Man to Deal With to take out a policy on his house. After listening to him for an hour, while he…