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Fantastic Fables by Ambrose Bierce: Two of the Damned
The Compassionate Physician The Austere Governor Two of the Damned TWO Blighted Beings, haggard, lachrymose, and detested, met on a blasted heath in the light of a struggling moon…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: A Valuable Suggestion
101 103 A Valuable Suggestion A BIG Nation having a quarrel with a Little Nation, resolved to terrify its antagonist by a grand naval demonstration in the latter's principal port. So the Big…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: Two Footpads
102 104 Two Footpads Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the evening's adventures. "I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I got away with what…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: Equipped for Service
103 105 Equipped for Service DURING the Civil War a Patriot was passing through the State of Maryland with a pass from the President to join Grant's army and see the fighting. Stopping a day at…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Basking Cyclone
104 106 The Basking Cyclone A NEGRO in a boat, gathering driftwood, saw a sleeping Alligator, and, thinking it was a log, fell to estimating the number of shingles it would make for his new cabin…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Optimist and the Cynic
106 108 The Optimist and the Cynic A MAN who had experienced the favours of fortune and was an Optimist, met a man who had experienced an optimist and was a Cynic. So the Cynic turned out of the…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Poet and the Editor
107 109 The Poet and the Editor "MY dear sir," said the editor to the man, who had called to see about his poem, "I regret to say that owing to an unfortunate altercation in this office the…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Taken Hand
108 110 The Taken Hand A SUCCESSFUL Man of Business, having occasion to write to a Thief, expressed a wish to see him and shake hands. "No," replied the Thief, "there are some things which I…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Thoughtful Warden
10 12 The Thoughtful Warden THE Warden of a Penitentiary was one day putting locks on the doors of all the cells when a mechanic said to him: "Those locks can all be opened from the inside - you…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: An Unspeakable Imbecile
109 111 An Unspeakable Imbecile A JUDGE said to a Convicted Assassin: "Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why the death- sentence should not be passed upon you?" "Will what I say…