The Devil's Dictionary: Abstainer

Updated May 14, 2020 | Infoplease Staff
by Ambrose Bierce
ABSOLUTE
ABSURDITY

ABSTAINER

-n.

A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

Said a man to a crapulent youth: "I thought
You a total abstainer, my son."
"So I am, so I am," said the scrapgrace caught —
"But not, sir, a bigoted one."

-G.J.

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