The Devil's Dictionary: Great

Updated May 14, 2020 | Infoplease Staff
by Ambrose Bierce



"I'm great," the Lion said — "I reign
The monarch of the wood and plain!"
The Elephant replied: "I'm great —
No quadruped can match my weight!"
"I'm great — no animal has half
So long a neck!" said the Giraffe.
"I'm great," the Kangaroo said — "see
My femoral muscularity!"
The 'Possum said: "I'm great — behold,
My tail is lithe and bald and cold!"
An Oyster fried was understood
To say: "I'm great because I'm good!"
Each reckons greatness to consist
In that in which he heads the list,
And Vierick thinks he tops his class
Because he is the greatest ass.

- Arion Spurl Doke

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