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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce
GENTEEL
GEOLOGY

GEOGRAPHER

-n.

A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

 Habeam, geographer of wide reknown,
Native of Abu-Keber's ancient town,
In passing thence along the river Zam
To the adjacent village of Xelam,
Bewildered by the multitude of roads,
Got lost, lived long on migratory toads,
Then from exposure miserably died,
And grateful travelers bewailed their guide.

- Henry Haukhorn