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Sic A Wife As Willie Had

     Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,
     The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie;
     Willie was a wabster gude,
     Could stown a clue wi' ony body:
     He had a wife was dour and din,
     O Tinkler Maidgie was her mither;
     Sic a wife as Willie had,
     I wad na gie a button for her!

     She has an e'e, she has but ane,
     The cat has twa the very colour;
     Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
     A clapper tongue wad deave a miller:
     A whiskin beard about her mou',
     Her nose and chin they threaten ither;
     Sic a wife as Willie had,
     I wadna gie a button for her!

     She's bow-hough'd, she's hein-shin'd,
     Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
     She's twisted right, she's twisted left,
     To balance fair in ilka quarter:
     She has a lump upon her breast,
     The twin o' that upon her shouther;
     Sic a wife as Willie had,
     I wadna gie a button for her!

     Auld baudrons by the ingle sits,
     An' wi' her loof her face a-washin;
     But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,
     She dights her grunzie wi' a hushion;
     Her walie nieves like midden-creels,
     Her face wad fyle the Logan Water;
     Sic a wife as Willie had,
     I wadna gie a button for her!

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