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Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Optimist and the Cynic
106 108 The Optimist and the Cynic A MAN who had experienced the favours of fortune and was an Optimist, met a man who had experienced an optimist and was a Cynic. So the Cynic turned out of the…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Poet and the Editor
107 109 The Poet and the Editor "MY dear sir," said the editor to the man, who had called to see about his poem, "I regret to say that owing to an unfortunate altercation in this office the…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Taken Hand
108 110 The Taken Hand A SUCCESSFUL Man of Business, having occasion to write to a Thief, expressed a wish to see him and shake hands. "No," replied the Thief, "there are some things which I…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Thoughtful Warden
10 12 The Thoughtful Warden THE Warden of a Penitentiary was one day putting locks on the doors of all the cells when a mechanic said to him: "Those locks can all be opened from the inside - you…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: An Unspeakable Imbecile
109 111 An Unspeakable Imbecile A JUDGE said to a Convicted Assassin: "Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why the death- sentence should not be passed upon you?" "Will what I say…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: A Needful War
110 112 A Needful War THE people of Madagonia had an antipathy to the people of Novakatka and set upon some sailors of a Novakatkan vessel, killing two and wounding twelve. The King of Madagonia…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Mine Owner and the Jackass
111 113 The Mine Owner and the Jackass WHILE the Owner of a Silver Mine was on his way to attend a convention of his species he was accosted by a Jackass, who said: "By an unjust discrimination…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Dog and the Physician
112 114 The Dog and the Physician A DOG that had seen a Physician attending the burial of a wealthy patient, said: "When do you expect to dig it up?" "Why should I dig it up?" the Physician…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Party Manager and the Gentleman
113 115 The Party Manager and the Gentleman A PARTY Manager said to a Gentleman whom he saw minding his own business: "How much will you pay for a nomination to office?" "Nothing," the…Fantastic Fables, Ambrose Bierce: The Legislator and the Citizen
114 116 The Legislator and the Citizen AN ex-Legislator asked a Most Respectable Citizen for a letter to the Governor recommending him for appointment as Commissioner of Shrimps and Crabs. "Sir…Trending
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