Fantastic Fables by Ambrose Bierce: The Appropriate Memorial
The Appropriate Memorial
A HIGH Public Functionary having died, the citizens of his town held a meeting to consider how to honour his memory, and an Other High Public Functionary rose and addressed the meeting.
"Mr. Chairman and Gintlemen," said the Other, "it sames to me, and I'm hopin' yez wull approve the suggistion, that an appropriet way to honour the mimory of the decaised would be to erect an emolument sootably inscribed wid his vartues."
The soul of the great man looked down from Heaven and wept.