Fantastic Fables by Ambrose Bierce: The Life-Savers
SEVENTY-FIVE Men presented themselves before the President of the Humane Society and demanded the great gold medal for life-saving.
"Why, yes," said the President; "by diligent effort so many men must have saved a considerable number of lives. How many did you save?"
"Seventy-five, sir," replied their Spokesman.
"Ah, yes, that is one each - very good work - very good work, indeed," the President said. "You shall not only have the Society's great gold medal, but its recommendation for employment at the various life-boat stations along the coast. But how did you save so many lives?"
The Spokesman of the Men replied:
"We are officers of the law, and have just returned from the pursuit of two murderous outlaws."