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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce
REPARTEE
REPLICA

REPENTANCE

-n.

The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

 Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell,
You will repent and join the Church, Parnell?
How needless! — Nick will keep you off the coals
And add you to the woes of other souls.

- Jomater Abemy