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by Ambrose Bierce
PRESIDENCY
PREVARICATOR

PRESIDENT

-n.

The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

   If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater
To have been a simple and undamned spectator.
Behold in me a man of mark and note
Whom no elector e'er denied a vote! —
An undiscredited, unhooted gent
Who might, for all we know, be President
By acclimation. Cheer, ye varlets, cheer —
I'm passing with a wide and open ear!

- Jonathan Fomry