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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce
PRESENTABLE
PRESIDENCY

PRESIDE

-v

To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

 The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was every provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spread the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."

- Orpheus Bowen