The Devil's Dictionary: Orphan

ORATORY

ORTHODOX

ORPHAN

-n.

A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude - a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid.