Cite
 
by Ambrose Bierce
ABSOLUTE
ABSURDITY

ABSTAINER

-n.

A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

   Said a man to a crapulent youth:  "I thought
You a total abstainer, my son."
"So I am, so I am," said the scrapgrace caught —
"But not, sir, a bigoted one."

-G.J.