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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce
FICKLENESS
FIDELITY

FIDDLE

-n.

An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

 To Rome said Nero: "If to smoke you turn
I shall not cease to fiddle while you burn."
To Nero Rome replied: "Pray do your worst,
'Tis my excuse that you were fiddling first."

- Orm Pludge