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The Devil's Dictionary

by Ambrose Bierce
CREMONA
CROSS

CRITIC

-n.

A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

 There is a land of pure delight,
Beyond the Jordan's flood,
Where saints, apparelled all in white,
Fling back the critic's mud.

And as he legs it through the skies,
His pelt a sable hue,
He sorrows sore to recognize
The missiles that he threw.

- Orrin Goof