'O that mine enemy had written A book!'-cried Job:-a fearful curse, If to the Arab, as the Briton, 'Twas galling to be critic-bitten:- The Devil to Peter wished no worse.
When Peter's next new book found vent, The Devil to all the first Reviews A copy of it slyly sent, With five-pound note as compliment, And this short notice-'Pray abuse.'
Then seriatim, month and quarter, Appeared such mad tirades.-One said- 'Peter seduced Mrs. Foy's daughter, Then drowned the mother in Ullswater, The last thing as he went to bed.'
Another-'Let him shave his head! Where's Dr. Willis?-Or is he joking? What does the rascal mean or hope, No longer imitating Pope, In that barbarian Shakespeare poking?'
One more, 'Is incest not enough? And must there be adultery too? Grace after meat? Miscreant and Liar! Thief! Blackguard! Scoundrel! Fool! hell-fire Is twenty times too good for you.
'By that last book of yours WE think You've double damned yourself to scorn; We warned you whilst yet on the brink You stood. From your black name will shrink The babe that is unborn.'
All these Reviews the Devil made Up in a parcel, which he had Safely to Peter's house conveyed. For carriage, tenpence Peter paid- Untied them-read them-went half mad.
'What!' cried he, 'this is my reward For nights of thought, and days, of toil? Do poets, but to be abhorred By men of whom they never heard, Consume their spirits' oil?
'What have I done to them?-and who IS Mrs. Foy? 'Tis very cruel To speak of me and Betty so! Adultery! God defend me! Oh! I've half a mind to fight a duel.
'Or,' cried he, a grave look collecting, 'Is it my genius, like the moon, Sets those who stand her face inspecting, That face within their brain reflecting, Like a crazed bell-chime, out of tune?'
For Peter did not know the town, But thought, as country readers do, For half a guinea or a crown, He bought oblivion or renown From God's own voice in a review.
All Peter did on this occasion Was, writing some sad stuff in prose. It is a dangerous invasion When poets criticize; their station Is to delight, not pose.
The Devil then sent to Leipsic fair For Born's translation of Kant's book; A world of words, tail foremost, where Right-wrong-false-true-and foul-and fair As in a lottery-wheel are shook.
Five thousand crammed octavo pages Of German psychologics,-he Who his furor verborum assuages Thereon, deserves just seven months' wages More than will e'er be due to me.
I looked on them nine several days, And then I saw that they were bad; A friend, too, spoke in their dispraise,- He never read them;-with amaze I found Sir William Drummond had.
When the book came, the Devil sent It to P. Verbovale, Esquire, With a brief note of compliment, By that night's Carlisle mail. It went, And set his soul on fire.
Fire, which ex luce praebens fumum, Made him beyond the bottom see Of truth's clear well-when I and you, Ma'am, Go, as we shall do, subter humum, We may know more than he.
Now Peter ran to seed in soul Into a walking paradox; For he was neither part nor whole, Nor good, nor bad-nor knave nor fool; -Among the woods and rocks
Furious he rode, where late he ran, Lashing and spurring his tame hobby; Turned to a formal puritan, A solemn and unsexual man,- He half believed "White Obi".
This steed in vision he would ride, High trotting over nine-inch bridges, With Flibbertigibbet, imp of pride, Mocking and mowing by his side- A mad-brained goblin for a guide- Over corn-fields, gates, and hedges.
After these ghastly rides, he came Home to his heart, and found from thence Much stolen of its accustomed flame; His thoughts grew weak, drowsy, and lame Of their intelligence.
To Peter's view, all seemed one hue; He was no Whig, he was no Tory; No Deist and no Christian he;- He got so subtle, that to be Nothing, was all his glory.
One single point in his belief From his organization sprung, The heart-enrooted faith, the chief Ear in his doctrines' blighted sheaf, That 'Happiness is wrong';
So thought Calvin and Dominic; So think their fierce successors, who Even now would neither stint nor stick Our flesh from off our bones to pick, If they might 'do their do.'
His morals thus were undermined:- The old Peter-the hard, old Potter- Was born anew within his mind; He grew dull, harsh, sly, unrefined, As when he tramped beside the Otter.
In the death hues of agony Lambently flashing from a fish, Now Peter felt amused to see Shades like a rainbow's rise and flee, Mixed with a certain hungry wish.
So in his Country's dying face He looked-and, lovely as she lay, Seeking in vain his last embrace, Wailing her own abandoned case, With hardened sneer he turned away:
And coolly to his own soul said;- 'Do you not think that we might make A poem on her when she's dead:- Or, no-a thought is in my head- Her shroud for a new sheet I'll take:
'My wife wants one.-Let who will bury This mangled corpse! And I and you, My dearest Soul, will then make merry, As the Prince Regent did with Sherry,-' 'Ay-and at last desert me too.'
And so his Soul would not be gay, But moaned within him; like a fawn Moaning within a cave, it lay Wounded and wasting, day by day, Till all its life of life was gone.
As troubled skies stain waters clear, The storm in Peter's heart and mind Now made his verses dark and queer: They were the ghosts of what they were, Shaking dim grave-clothes in the wind.
For he now raved enormous folly, Of Baptisms, Sunday-schools, and Graves, 'Twould make George Colman melancholy To have heard him, like a male Molly, Chanting those stupid staves.
Yet the Reviews, who heaped abuse On Peter while he wrote for freedom, So soon as in his song they spy The folly which soothes tyranny, Praise him, for those who feed 'em.
'He was a man, too great to scan;- A planet lost in truth's keen rays:- His virtue, awful and prodigious;- He was the most sublime, religious, Pure-minded Poet of these days.'
As soon as he read that, cried Peter, 'Eureka! I have found the way To make a better thing of metre Than e'er was made by living creature Up to this blessed day.'
Then Peter wrote odes to the Devil;- In one of which he meekly said: 'May Carnage and Slaughter, Thy niece and thy daughter, May Rapine and Famine, Thy gorge ever cramming, Glut thee with living and dead!
'May Death and Damnation, And Consternation, Flit up from Hell with pure intent! Slash them at Manchester, Glasgow, Leeds, and Chester; Drench all with blood from Avon to Trent.
'Let thy body-guard yeomen Hew down babes and women, And laugh with bold triumph till Heaven be rent! When Moloch in Jewry Munched children with fury, It was thou, Devil, dining with pure intent.
Betty Emma 1839, 2nd edition. See letter from Shelley to Ollier, May 14, 1820 (Shelley Memorials, page 139).
Vox populi, vox dei. As Mr. Godwin truly observes of a more famous saying, of some merit as a popular maxim, but totally destitute of philosophical accuracy.-Shelley
Quasi, Qui valet verba:-i.e. all the words which have been, are, or may be expended by, for, against, with, or on him. A sufficient proof of the utility of this history. Peter's progenitor who selected this name seems to have possessed A PURE ANTICIPATED COGNITION of the nature and modesty of this ornament of his posterity.-Shelley
A famous river in the new Atlantis of the Dynastophylic Pantisocratists.-Shelley
See the description of the beautiful colours produced during the agonizing death of a number of trout, in the fourth part of a long poem in blank verse, published within a few years. ["The Excursion", 8 2 568-71.-Ed.] That poem contains curious evidence of the gradual hardening of a strong but circumscribed sensibility, of the perversion of a penetrating but panic-stricken understanding. The author might have derived a lesson which he had probably forgotten from these sweet and sublime verses:-
'This lesson, Shepherd, let us two divide, Taught both by what she (Nature) shows and what conceals, Never to blend our pleasure or our pride With sorrow of the meanest thing that feels.'
See Editor's Note.
It is curious to observe how often extremes meet. Cobbett and Peter use the same language for a different purpose: Peter is indeed a sort of metrical Cobbett. Cobbett is, however, more mischievous than Peter, because he pollutes a holy and how unconquerable cause with the principles of legitimate murder; whilst the other only makes a bad one ridiculous and odious.
If either Peter or Cobbett should see this note, each will feel more indignation at being compared to the other than at any censure implied in the moral perversion laid to their charge.-Shelley