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Doctor Jokes

Doctor, doctor, I have this feeling that I'm invisible!

Doctor w/ X-Ray

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory!

– When did you lose it?

   When did I lose what?



Doctor, doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound!

Try answering the phone!



Doctor, doctor, what did the X-ray of my head show?

Nothing!



Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm turning into a bear!

– How long have you felt this way?

   Ever since I was a cub!



Doctor, doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar!

I just can't believe that!



Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses!

I think so too-this is a candy store!



Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing funny spots before my eyes!

– Have you seen a doctor before?

   No, just funny spots!



Doctor, doctor, I feel like a hundred-dollar bill!

Go to the store-change would do you good!



Doctor, doctor, I broke my leg in four places!

Well, don't go back to any of them!



Doctor

Doctor, doctor, I have this feeling that I'm invisible!

Did I hear a voice?



Doctor, doctor, I've had a stomachache since I ate that cheese.

– Did it smell funny when you unwrapped it?

   I was supposed to unwrap it?



Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed my pen!

Well then, start using a pencil!



Doctor, doctor, will I be able to swim after this operation?

– Yes!

   Great, I never could before!



Doctor, doctor, whenever I drink juice I get a pain in my eye!

Try taking the straw out of the glass!



Doctor w/ Bandaid

Doctor, doctor, I think I've turned into a dog!

– Please sit down on this chair and tell me about it.

   I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture!


Information Please® Database, © 2007 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

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